When the topic of abusive relationships comes up, it seems like someone always asks why the individual facing that abuse didn’t just simply leave. They can’t understand why someone would stay in a home where domestic violence was taking place.
If they say this, it’s very likely that they’ve never been in this situation themselves. They can’t possibly understand it, and there’s no way they can know exactly how hard it can be to leave. There are many reasons why this can become so difficult.
Financial dependency
For one thing, many people are financially dependent on their partners. They may want to leave, but it’s harder to take that next step when they feel like leaving the relationship may mean becoming homeless or not having access to food, clothing and other necessities.
They think it’s normal
In some cases, the consistent abuse has become normalized in their relationship, and they just think this is how relationships are. They may not like the treatment that they are receiving, but they assume that everyone is living this way to some degree.
They feel like it’s their fault
One interesting phenomenon is that people who are the victims of domestic violence are often manipulated by the abuser into thinking that the abuse itself is their fault. This is clearly a lie, but it’s possible for this manipulation to work through gaslighting and other tactics.
If you have been suffering from domestic violence or abuse, please know that you don’t have to accept this, and there are legal options that you can explore.